O boy… I did not expect this.
For the past six months I have been working my ass of. Literally. And every three months I book a photo shoot. Now after the first shoot I knew I still had a long way to go. But I had this major expectation of the second shoot and today, three days after, I just feel down in the dumps. So I jumped on the net and searched. This is what I found:
Apparently there is a state called Post-Achievement Depression.
For a short period of time all of my attention have been focused on this photoshoot. The achieving of this goal was what I worked towards every single day for three months. I was motivated by the fear that I would not reach it. And when I did, it was like…. Now what?
Once we achieve our goals, when our dreams become real, we see that they aren’t quite as thrilling or as fulfilling or even as interesting as we’d imagined them to be. BRAD WARNER
So now I have to answer a new question. “What am I searching for?”. Setting a goal sets up the ‘what’ but now I need to answer ‘why?’. I need a more sustainable goal. Realising that once I have reached my goal weight I need a plan of action to go beyond.
3 Tips to get past Post-Achievement depression
- Pat yourself on the back Take time to enjoy your achievements because they are achievements. Share with friends and family and appreciate where you are as opposed to where you were. Spoil yourself.
- Set follow-up goals well in advance Unless this was your ultimate goal to reach there will always be something new to look forward to. At least a month before your goal date have some idea about where you are going next. Also keep in mind there will be a limit to what you can reach. Have alternative paths to follow.
- Enjoy the journey not just the destination Stop and look around while you are focused on your goal. There are so many people to meet, places to see and things to do in life. Enjoy it!
Have you had to deal with this issue? How did you cope?
Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify and manage your own emotions and the emotions of others. (Psychology Today)
According to my Emotional Intelligence Appraisal I fall into the second lowest category together with 25% of people. Ouch. At least it’s not in the 50% category below that. Only 2.5% of people reach the top level.
I sometimes demonstrate emotional intelligent behaviour but not always. It’s not a skill that always comes naturally to me, I have to work on ways to improve on it.
As a teacher I need to inspire people to change their lives and to set goals for the future. It’s important to have EI/EQ in order to get a good read on a specific class. Every class of learners have a different dynamic. That is why I have decided to try to improve it. There are many ways to do so, but I have chosen only five.
5 Tips to increase your emotional intelligence
- Take the time to feel it – the first, and probably the most important step is to learn to trust your emotions. Keep a journal with you and the moment you become aware of any emotion you feel strongly, write down the who, what, when, where, why and how of it. Use all your senses to describe what you are feeling.
- Manage your emotions – you are the one responsible for your own feelings. Respond to feelings don’t react to them. Reaction is an unconscious process, due to emotioal triggers and works like a release valve. It often leads to negative consequences. Responding is a conscious process where you make a decision to react in a specific way, and you can clearly explain your behaviour.
- Show real interest in people – get to know the people you are working with. There could be cultural, religious or other variety in the group. Find out as much as you can about people and make sure they know they are appreciated.
- Learn to listen – listening skills are central to emotional competence. Show respect towards the people you talk and listen to, even if they are abrasive. Try to understand the message of the speaker. More important than following steps however is you mindset. Practice self control expecially when the other person has a different opinion than you do.
- Learn to be grateful – share positive feelings with your co-workers but in an honest way, not a contrived way. See the skills and gifts in others and motivate them to use those to the best of their ability. Show your appreciation for them in a tangible way.
I’m going to set these as goals for myself to try to improve my own EQ.
Do you have any suggestions or more ideas to follow up on?
The most important thing is to groom properly. Photoshop can fix many mistakes but it takes time away from the photographer that could have been spent more wisely.
At least three days before the shoot wax everything. Don’t be shy, be prepared. Give your skin time to recover.
Moisturise to allow the skin to have a healthy glow. Dry or flaky skin will be picked up by the camera and will be difficult to fix.
The best nails is a French manicure, don’t go dark or red. That being said I prefer to go bold myself. And since my theme for the year is red, green and black, those are the colours I prefer.
Get at least 8 hours sleep the night before. If you are tired the camera will see it. Dark circles under the eye will not be pretty. Neither will red puffy eyes. Invest in good eye drops.
Eat it up
Keep hydrated with water before the time. Cut out caffeine like coffee and soft drinks. Stick to fresh fruits and vegetables and stay away from starchy food that make you bloated.
Pack it in
It is a good idea to plan the shoot well in advance. Be sure to have everything set out before hand. Check with the photographer about any thing they need you to bring with.
As part of your planning make sure you book during a time that you are not very busy. A rushed feeling will add to your stress which will be reflected in the photos.
As an added idea I suggest you book in your ovulation week. Yeh. Is the time when everything works together to make you look soft and desirable.
I hope these ideas work for you. Just keep in mind that you are doing it for the fun factor! Tata for now.
This is the next instalment in my series on the number seven in the Bible. It is still fascinating.
In Genesis 6:3 God says that the number of years for man will be limited to 120. Some scholars take this number and multiply it with the number of years in a Jubilee cycle, which is 50. 120 x 50 = 6000 years for man. It is interesting to note that 2015 marks the 120th Jubilee.
In Revelation the reign of Christ Jesus for a thousand years is alluded to at least six times.
4 I saw thrones on which were seated those who had been given authority to judge. And I saw the souls of those who had been beheaded because of their testimony about Jesus and because of the word of God. They[a] had not worshiped the beast or its image and had not received its mark on their foreheads or their hands. They came to life and reigned with Christ a thousand years. 5 (The rest of the dead did not come to life until the thousand years were ended.) This is the first resurrection. 6 Blessed and holy are those who share in the first resurrection. The second death has no power over them, but they will be priests of God and of Christ and will reign with him for a thousand years.
The Angel also binds Saten for, 1000 years. So many scholars have written about this topic I don’t feel the need to repeat it. I just wanted combine a few of my favorite things into one.
I studied Genesis and the timeline of Adam up to Noah, as well as a variety of dates and times up to Jesus.
I studied Daniel’s prophecy of the 400 years between testaments as well as actual fulfilled history.
I studied Revelation and the Seven Ages of the church a day the history up to today and combined a few of these ideas into my idea of a chart. It’s so not perfect but I had fun compiling it
14:00 – I went for my face wax and eye tinting, now everything is smarting. I did it the day before, because I had to reschedule the shoot. The photographer had been invited to go with the Springbok rugby team on Saturday. I hope I don’t rash up.
20:00 – I packed my bag and checked that everything is in, then rechecked my props crate. I packed my son’s overnight bag. I’m getting nervous. I feel like when I prepared for my Aestedford dances.
6:00 – my husband says I had nightmares, so he held me tightly and that calmed me down. I guess the day seems to be a bit stress full? I can’t waste a single minute… I just need to keep in mind I’m doing it for the fun factor. Just have to cope with six hours of biology teaching.
14:00 – I survived the day at school and received so many complements today, it really lifted my spirit. It is time for my nails to be done. At least I can sit and relax for a while; but Daline says I’m shaking. I still need to get changed before my hair is done and it just stayed raining!
15:50 – my nails are done! I think they look awesome. I have three minutes to dress up … Then hair.
16:03 – I am at the salon… The power wil go out at 17:00 so Lilani will work as fast as she can.
17:05 – OK so I’m five minutes late for the parents meeting. But the power is out so no one can see me in the dark. The gas lamps have not yet been lighted. I’ve just got to get through the next fifty minutes. I don’t see many parents of my students here, so maybe I can leave early.
17:50 – I’m on my way to the photos shoot!
21:00 – I’m done. I’m so done! Going to bed now!
I’ll post the photos as soon as I get them. Wow this is exciting!